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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the amount of money spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, housing, transportation, health care and clothing in the USA, Canada, the UK and Japan in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of food increased during the
year
Use synonyms
.
While
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 the other categories show
flutuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 and decreased over the time period.
To begin
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, the proportion of food
initially
Linking Words
 was around 14% and
then
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 grew to 23%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of housing fluctuated during the
year
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of approximately 26% and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
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 22%. In detail, the expenditure for transportation was over 15% at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 climbed to exactly 20%
then
Linking Words
 dropped to 10%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the amount of money spent
for
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on
show examples
 health care and clothing was about 7% and 4% respectively. Clothing
reach
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reaches
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 a peak of 6%
at
Change preposition
in
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 the middle of the
year
Use synonyms
. Both
ends
Change the verb form
end
show examples
 with the same percentage
under
Change preposition
of under
show examples
 4% by 2009.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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