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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The data below summarizes the total
number
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 of shopping
centers
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centres
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 that closed and the
number
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 of
shops
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 that opened from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the major closed shop happened in 2011: about 6,000
shops
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 were closed.
In contrast
Linking Words
, almost 9,000
shops
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 were opened that year, the highest record for a grand new opening in that eight years. The
number
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 of closed
shops
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 is always in the range of 5,000 to 7,000, except in 2015, when the closures dropped to less than a thousand.
Then
Linking Words
, three years later, the graphic of closed
shops
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 was slightly steady. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of new openings fluctuates. It reached its peak in 2011 and fell to
the
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its
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 lowest in 2018. In 2012, it decreased to around 4,000
shops
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. In 2013 and 2014, it rose slightly until it reached 6,000
shops
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 opened, but it went down again in 2015. After that, it remained steady until 2018, when the opening
centers
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centres
show examples
 experienced a decline again.
Submitted by dhiyaghassanif on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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