The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that people need more free
days
per
week
by reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
their working hours.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
I completely disagree with
this
opinion, Because
workers
have
considerable
Change the article
a considerable
the considerable
show examples
number of leaves per
year
and lots of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
need to be done to be a successful company.
Firstly
, I believe that two
days
is more than enough as
weekend
Add an article
a weekend
the weekend
show examples
for
workers
since
,
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apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
allow them to have sufficient numbers of leaves per
year
Change preposition
in additional
show examples
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
to
Add an article
the weekend
show examples
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
.
As well as
in Sri Lanka, there is at least one
holyday
Correct your spelling
holy day
per
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
month.
Hence
, no need to
short
Replace the word
shorten
show examples
the working
week
.
Nevertheless
, some
companies
don’t allow
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
as
leaves
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leave
show examples
for
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
and
that is
not acceptable. Every
workers
Change to a singular noun
worker
show examples
should have free
days
after a working
week
.
For instance
, construction
companines
Correct your spelling
companies
don’t let
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have their
weekend
as
holydays
Correct your spelling
holidays
show examples
.
Secondly
, in order to become a successful and leading company,
workers
should work
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
without thinking about the rest
days
. Organizations pay a good salary for
workers
so they should do their jobs to achieve
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
goals of the
companies
. If the working
days
per
week
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
deducted, it is not easy to cover targets within the time frame. As an example,
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry pays good money for their people with enough
leaver
Correct your spelling
leave
show examples
per
year
then
companies
ahieve thier
Correct your spelling
achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
and
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
are
also
happy
no
Change preposition
with no
show examples
need
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
shorten the working
week
.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that
its
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it's
it is
show examples
not necessary to have
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
by decreasing the working period of
workers
due to
the fact that they have already enough leaves per
year
and many government
holydays
Correct your spelling
holidays
show examples
.
Besides
to be a developed country everyone should do their jobs seriously.
Submitted by prabodyagamage on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid some repetitive phrases and work on linking words fluently to enhance the logical structure and flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence for your main arguments to increase the clarity and relevance of your essay.
language accuracy
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and word choice to avoid distractions caused by language errors.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining an appropriate essay structure.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout.
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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