The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
modern age, some Linking Words
people
believe that social media keeps Use synonyms
people
connected like those who are staying overseas, Use synonyms
while
others are against Linking Words
this
concept as the development of these communication applications has led to social barriers among family members. I strongly agree, with Linking Words
this
statement and will provide the justifiable reasons in the following paragraphs.
Linking Words
Firstly
, with the invention of these social media Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
app
Add a comma
app,
people
are able to secure jobs outside of their country which Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
also
helped in reducing the unemployment rate. Linking Words
For instance
, those working in the customer service helplines are able to work from any part of the world as their jobs Linking Words
have
heavily Unnecessary verb
apply
relies
on the availability of cellular networks. Correct subject-verb agreement
rely
Therefore
, the opportunities for a person to find employment Linking Words
lies
beyond their regional area.
Correct subject-verb agreement
lie
On the other hand
, our over-reliance on the internet Linking Words
have
undoubtedly created an Change the verb form
has
invessible
wall among the Correct your spelling
invisible
people
of the society. Use synonyms
For example
, a case study conducted in Linking Words
USA
showed that in recent years more than 30 Correct article usage
the USA
percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
the
marriages have ended in divorce, upon Correct article usage
apply
further
investigation it was revealed that they paid more attention to their profile on Instagram rather than interacting Linking Words
among
each other to build up the relationship.
Change preposition
with
To conclude
, there is no denying that these technologies bring Linking Words
people
from different nations together, Use synonyms
however
, their negative impact cannot be ignored as Linking Words
this
will result in the isolation of Linking Words
people
closer to your surroundings.Use synonyms
Submitted by savjot0555 on
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clarity
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. While the main points are present, some sentences could be more straightforward. Consider restructuring sentences for better clarity.
examples
Use specific examples to support your points. Your essay mentions general trends; providing more detail can make your argument more compelling.
cohesion
Consider enhancing logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph addresses a different perspective, the transition could be smoother.
balance
The essay presents a balanced view of both the pros and cons of the internet, which is a sound approach for this topic.
structure
A clear introduction and conclusion help bring the essay full circle, reinforcing your central position.
task completion
Addresses the task requirements effectively by discussing both connection benefits and isolation drawbacks.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.