In some countries, it is illegal for company to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years,
corperations
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corporations
are
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have been
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prohibitted
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prohibited
from declining candidates for their age. It is believed that
this
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development justifies the rejection of employment for elder workers,
while
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singlehandedly
reduce
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reducing
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child abuse in workplaces. In my view, I opine that the benefits of
this
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order
outweight
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outweigh
the disadvantages, as I will elaborate
further
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in
this
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essay. As mentioned above, in certain nations
such
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as Vietnam, applicants with age over
thirty five
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thirty-five
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are commonly denied
internship
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internships
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. Unlike managers or other senior positions which
requires
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require
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experienced leaders, lower positions -
such
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as office workers - often
seeks
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seek
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youngsters. The reason for
such
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is employers believe wide-eyed newbies bring more creativity to their workforce.
Consequently
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, returning workers find difficulty in fitting in, as their age
exceed
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exceeds
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what is considered 'optimal'.
Thus
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,
this
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change solves
such
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problem
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a problem
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, providing them with a job.
Likewise
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, the regulation
also
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limit
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limits
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the abuse of children in
workforce
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the workforce
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. It is a widespread belief that no individual below eighteen should be subject to employment.
Therefore
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,
this
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developent
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development
also
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patches
this
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flaw in society.
On the other hand
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, opponents of
this
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debate argue that
:
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apply
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1) Older people should not be allowed in more physically demanding working environments,
such
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as construction 2) The youth should, to some degree, be allowed to make a living to help with their family economic. I cannot deny these are valid concerns in their respective area. As
such
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, I believe that
this
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law should be passed under careful management and adjustments.
To conclude
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, I absolutely agree that
this
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is a step in the right direction.
Nevertheless
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, it cannot be ignored that there
exists
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exist
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drawback
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drawbacks
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. Provided that strict management
are
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is
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employed though, I cannot see why
this
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would not be a positive development,
Submitted by Minh on

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task achievement
Ensure your main points are consistently supported with clear examples or evidence. This adds credibility to your arguments and helps in achieving a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of ideas. Instead, expand on your points with varied vocabulary and deeper insights.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your stance in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion for a more cohesive essay.
task achievement
Review the prompt carefully to ensure all parts of the question are addressed comprehensively. You could further explore potential downsides of the policy to balance your viewpoint.
task achievement
Your essay includes both benefits and drawbacks of the topic, showcasing a balanced view, which is crucial for a well-rounded task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps readers to understand your stance at the beginning and end of the essay.
supported main points
Some of your arguments, such as those regarding child labor and opportunities for older applicants, are well-intentioned and provide a good starting point for discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Age discrimination
  • Inclusive workforce
  • Ageism
  • Equal opportunity
  • Human rights
  • Lifelong learning
  • Professional development
  • Workplace diversity
  • Intergenerational collaboration
  • Workforce demographics
  • Administrative burden
  • Employment equality
  • Skill-based hiring
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