Nowadays, people travel to other countries for a holidays. Why people do so? is this a positive or a negative development for the countries they travel to?
Travelling abroad on vacations has become a
papular
habit in recent years. I utterly believe it has numerous Correct your spelling
popular
poitive
effects on Correct your spelling
positive
dstination
countries.
Exploring new cultures, people spend a great budget to travel Correct your spelling
destination
to
out of their own borders. It means that they may want to meet versions other than they are meeting every single day. It might help them to learn and understand how people Change preposition
apply
on
Change preposition
in
another
parts of the world live,work and think. Replace the adjective
other
Moreover
, travelers
are attracted to destinations with Change the spelling
travellers
reach
historical backgrounds or Correct your spelling
rich
destinatons
Correct your spelling
destinations
destination
where
offer excellent shopping opportunities. Correct word choice
that
For instance
, Eygept is famous for its magificent
history Correct your spelling
magnificent
while
Dubai attract
many visitors because of its modern architecture and wide range of shopping malls and buying opportunities.
The host cities would benefit from tourism in Change the verb form
attracts
Correct article usage
a varitey
varitey
of aspects. Correct your spelling
variety
Fisrt
of all, the more tourists come the more income they bring in. Correct your spelling
First
Consequently
, the job market will be empowered. Thus
unemployment rate can drop significantly. In
Change preposition
As
result
, other businesses could Correct article usage
a result
also
advantage and strenghten
their status. Correct your spelling
strengthen
Additionally
,It has been shown that travelling to the turistic
targets has Correct your spelling
tourist
great
positive influence on inhabitants as they are able to meet and engage with individuals with different nationality backgrounds. Add an article
a great
For example
, people from top holidays
destinations have more Change the noun form
holiday
happy
attitude towards strangers and themselves.
Correct word choice
happier
Tourism based
economies can fulfill many of their dependance on other Add a hyphen
Tourism-based
high cost
markets like oil or Add a hyphen
high-cost
coals
which in turn Fix the agreement mistake
coal
lead
to a more stable and Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
enviromentally
friendly economy. Indeed a minority of Correct your spelling
environmentally
residences
may Replace the word
residents
concerns
about the rise in accommodation and goods Replace the word
concerned
price
. Fix the agreement mistake
prices
This
mindset should be refuted because the economical
benefits like increasing Replace the word
economic
in
money inflow and balancing Change preposition
apply
work
market , Correct article usage
the work
outweighs
possible small inflations. Many countries like Turkey and United Arab Emirates Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
recieve
most of their income from Correct your spelling
receive
turism
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
tourism
Although
there might be some worries reagrding
probable inflation Correct your spelling
regarding
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
turism
can Correct your spelling
tourism
truely
work as a Correct your spelling
truly
fundemental
solution to Correct your spelling
fundamental
economical
and social issues for any country which invests in Replace the word
economic
this
market.Submitted by drmmdi on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both why people travel abroad and whether it's a positive or negative development. However, try to elaborate more on each point to enhance clarity and depth.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences are complex and can be simplified for better understanding. Avoid overly long sentences that might confuse the reader.
task achievement
Ensure that the main points you present are supported with more specific examples or evidence. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical sequence, but transitions between some paragraphs could be smoother. Use appropriate linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Since you have both an introduction and a conclusion, your essay structure is solid. However, revisiting the main points briefly in the conclusion can strengthen it.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points could be developed further with more detailed explanations or additional examples to enhance support for your arguments.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as Egypt's historical appeal and Dubai's shopping experiences, which illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your viewpoints and reinforces your argument, providing a solid end to the essay.