IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, people travel to other countries for a holidays. Why people do so? is this a positive or a negative development for the countries they travel to?

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Travelling abroad on vacations has become a
papular
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popular
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 habit in recent years. I utterly believe it has numerous
poitive
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positive
 effects on
dstination
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destination
 countries. Exploring new cultures, people spend a great budget to travel
to
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apply
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out of their own borders. It means that they may want to meet versions other than they are meeting every single day. It might help them to learn and understand how people
on
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in
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another
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other
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 parts of the world live,work and think.
Moreover
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,
travelers
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travellers
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 are attracted to destinations with
reach
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rich
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 historical backgrounds or
destinatons
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destinations
destination
where
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that
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 offer excellent shopping opportunities.
For instance
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, Eygept is famous for its
magificent
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magnificent
 history
while
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 Dubai
attract
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attracts
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 many visitors because of its modern architecture and wide range of shopping malls and buying opportunities. The host cities would benefit from tourism in
Correct article usage
a varitey
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varitey
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variety
 of aspects.
Fisrt
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First
 of all, the more tourists come the more income they bring in.
Consequently
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, the job market will be empowered.
Thus
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 unemployment rate can drop significantly.
In
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As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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, other businesses could
also
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 advantage and
strenghten
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strengthen
 their status.
Additionally
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,It has been shown that travelling to the
turistic
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tourist
 targets has
great
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a great
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 positive influence on inhabitants as they are able to meet and engage with individuals with different nationality backgrounds.
For example
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, people from top
holidays
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holiday
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 destinations have more
happy
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happier
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 attitude towards strangers and themselves.
Tourism based
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Tourism-based
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 economies can fulfill many of their dependance on other
high cost
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high-cost
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 markets like oil or
coals
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coal
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 which in turn
lead
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leads
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 to a more stable and
enviromentally
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environmentally
 friendly economy. Indeed a minority of
residences
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residents
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 may
concerns
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concerned
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 about the rise in accommodation and goods
price
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prices
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.
This
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 mindset should be refuted because the
economical
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economic
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 benefits like increasing
in
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apply
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money inflow and balancing
work
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the work
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 market ,
outweighs
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outweigh
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 possible small inflations. Many countries like Turkey and United Arab Emirates
recieve
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receive
 most of their income from
turism
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tourism
. In conclusion,
Although
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 there might be some worries
reagrding
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regarding
 probable inflation
but
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apply
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turism
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tourism
 can
truely
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truly
 work as a
fundemental
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fundamental
 solution to
economical
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economic
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 and social issues for any country which invests in
this
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 market.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both why people travel abroad and whether it's a positive or negative development. However, try to elaborate more on each point to enhance clarity and depth.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences are complex and can be simplified for better understanding. Avoid overly long sentences that might confuse the reader.
task achievement
Ensure that the main points you present are supported with more specific examples or evidence. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical sequence, but transitions between some paragraphs could be smoother. Use appropriate linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Since you have both an introduction and a conclusion, your essay structure is solid. However, revisiting the main points briefly in the conclusion can strengthen it.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points could be developed further with more detailed explanations or additional examples to enhance support for your arguments.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as Egypt's historical appeal and Dubai's shopping experiences, which illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your viewpoints and reinforces your argument, providing a solid end to the essay.
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