Some people think that visitors to other countries should obey local behaviors while other people disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences Discuss both views and give your opinion?
In
this
concurrent world, tourism has enriched the planet beyond this
belief. A few people
ought
that local behaviour should Verb problem
believe
be obey
by the travellers of other nations Change the verb form
be obeyed
whereas
others think that host
Correct article usage
the host
country
should adapt
different cultural Correct your spelling
adopt
traditions
. I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraph and my viewpoint is that local norms and welcome
different Wrong verb form
welcoming
cultural
by Replace the word
cultures
host
Correct article usage
the host
country
will help to learn new cultural
in Replace the word
cultures
this
modern era.
To begin
, there are numerous reason
which shows that travellers Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
of
different Change preposition
from
countries
must obey local norms. First and foremost is that
local behaviours will help to reduce social misunderstanding which Verb problem
,
have
always happened Change the verb form
has
due to
the traditions
of different culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
people
will learn new things and adapt environment. For example
, so many mobs do not know how to use chpsticks
but when Correct your spelling
chopsticks
people
explore Asian countries
then
they can easily learn and will give respect to each other traditions
.
On the other side, host
countries
should adapt different
cultures Change preposition
to different
becuase
it is a good way to enhance knowledge Correct your spelling
because
in
Change preposition
of
diiferent
Correct your spelling
different
traditions
and do
not feel shy when they Unnecessary verb
apply
will
explore different nations. Verb problem
apply
For instance
, a survey had done in India during 2023 which shows that nearly 80% of people
adapt
different Correct your spelling
adopt
trafitions
like wearing western clothes, eating fast food and walking and talking like foreign Correct your spelling
traditions
countries
.
In conclusion, obey of local manners and welcome
different Wrong verb form
welcoming
traditions
by
Change preposition
of
host
Correct article usage
the host
country
are important and I think that tourism is the main source in
the Change preposition
of
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
eon
for Change the spelling
aeon
tourist
to learn local norms and welcome different Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
traditions
in own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
country
.Submitted by bhullarharpreetkaur68 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main ideas in the body paragraphs could be more clearly defined and organized. Consider using topic sentences and supporting details to enhance structure.
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task but could benefit from more detailed examples and explanations. Try to elaborate on your points with more specific details and real-world examples.
Language
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Review your writing for sentence structure, verb agreement, and vocabulary usage to make your ideas clearer.
Task Achievement
The introduction sets up the discussion of both views clearly and includes your own viewpoint, which is good for task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay attempts to balance both sides of the argument, and the writer's opinion is clearly stated in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
The examples provided support the argument about learning and adapting to new cultures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.