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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk
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The bar chart provides data about how much UK citizens
in
Change preposition
of
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 different
age
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
group's
Change noun form
groups
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 spending expenses in
food
 and
drink
 ,
restaurant
 and
hotel
,
also
entertainment
categories
 during 2004.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 at the beginning of the
age
 under 30 figures of
restaurant
 and
hotel
 experienced the highest than other
categories
.
Whereas
 , both
categories
food
 and
drink
as well as
entertainment
 witnessed a significant rise of 61 + 75. Regarding the first two
age
groups
 UK residents
in
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apply
show examples
under 30 in
restaurant
 and
hotel
 services
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 under roughly 15% of their total spending. 31- 45 between
Add an article
the age
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age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of people in
first
Change the article
the first
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 category decreased
Change preposition
by
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just around 2%.
In contrast
 , trends in
under
Correct article usage
the under
show examples
 30
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
group showed just over 5 and 7 % respectively. 31 - 45
age
 of UK residents in
food
 and
drink
 classes dramatically increased by 13% , so
entertainment
 figures
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 only to 8%. As for the remaining
age
groups
 , spending patterns across older
age
groups
 varied greatly. People aged 46 -60 illustrated in
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 and
drink
 category was over 15%
while
 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
categories
 was much lower than
this
 amount. People
in ages
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aged
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
61-75 in
entertainment
 spending expenditure was highest , making up just under a quarter , followed by
food
 and
drink
 fifth. Interestingly, they demonstrated
thei
Correct your spelling
their
the
 lowest trend in
restaurant
 and
hotel
 services in
61
Correct article usage
the 61
show examples
-75
age
groups
. Coming to the 76+
age
 classes in orthodox spending of
food
 and
drink
 refreshments was about 22%
while
 the category of
entertainment
 and restaurarian
hotel
 figures showed over 5 and 13 %respecively in one
age
 group named
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
76+.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, food, drink, restaurant, hotel, entertainment, categories, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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