Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
#sugar #health #people #government’s #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individual’s #amount
The rate of obesity is now greater than at almost any point in history and spending a lot of
sugar
is damaging the
Correct article usage
apply
health
. Some argue that authorities have to prevent and put the rules to limit uses . On the other hand
, other groups of people
believe that individuals who accountable for their eating. In this
essay , I will discuss both sides and explain my perspective in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with the view that , the healthcare sector should ban the use of sugar
spending . Even a straightforward that the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
harm and destroyed
Wrong verb form
destroys
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
people
Correct pronoun usage
who used
used
Wrong verb form
use
is
Correct your spelling
it
everyday
Replace the word
every day
and
night. Correct word choice
apply
However
, individuals argue that the government should be responsible towards their health
and put
limit Verb problem
apply
use
Correct article usage
the use
for
Change preposition
of
sugar
consumption to reduce the disease . In this
case
they have to Add a comma
case,
educating
Change the verb
educate
people
about the dangers of sugar
consumption . So , the possible solution is to reduce this
problem they have to publish on social media and platforms. for example
, the racesch
and Correct your spelling
research
studied
evidence consumption of Replace the word
studies
sugar
leads to a lot of diseases that cause cancer and other illnesses .
On the other hand
, The primary consideration for people
is their health
they should care and educated
themselves and be aware towards their Wrong verb form
educate
health
. As a result
, people
who eat limit
Wrong verb form
limited
and
little Correct word choice
apply
sugar
and have a
regular exercise Correct article usage
apply
they
are more likely to live longer with higher levels of energy and higher levels of happiness. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, my siblings always promoted and encouraged me to do daily activities to be more active and healthy as they are have
regular exercise and they are healthier than me .
In conclusion, Change the verb form
have
government
and individuals both have shared the responsibility together for their Correct article usage
the government
health
care and the health
benefits to the
society . Correct article usage
apply
My
opinion, Change preposition
In my
people
should be aware about
their Change the preposition
of
health
and practice regular exercise to keep fit and cut sugar
for
their Change preposition
in
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by a.almakmari93 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to clarify and organize your ideas more logically. Some sentences are difficult to follow, and this affects the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea, and all sentences in the paragraph support that idea.
task achievement
Strengthen the task response by addressing all parts of the question more clearly and comprehensively.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas, making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to give your essay a complete structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic, showing an understanding of the question's requirements.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.