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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.
#worker #four #countries #workers #people
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The table illustrates the
number
 of temporary migrant
workers
 in
Australia
, New
Zealand
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States in 2003 and 2006 and the
number
 of these
workers
 per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. In general, the US
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the country with the highest migrants over the years,
while
 New
Zealand
 shows the opposite. In 2003, the country with the most migrant
workers
 was the US with 577,000
workers
. Following on the second spot is
Australia
 with 152,000
workers
, the UK with 137,000
workers
 and New
Zealand
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the least migrant
workers
 with only 65,000 people.
Furthermore
, in 2006, there
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
 of migrant
workers
 in these countries. Remained in the first position is the US with an
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 reach to 678,000
workers
. Unlike in 2003, the second country with the highest
migrant
Correct quantifier usage
number of migrant
show examples
workers
 in 2006 is the UK with around 266,000
workers
, following
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 third place is
Australia
 with 219,000
workers
, and New
Zealand
 with only 87,000
workers
. In 2006, New
Zealand
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 the leading
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workers
 per 1,000 people with 21.1,
Australia
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10.7 and both the UK and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
only
Change preposition
at only
show examples
 4.4 and 2.3.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, workers, australia, zealand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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