IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar charts show education data related to young adults aged 15 years old in 10 different countries in 2015. The first chart shows in which countries adolescents do the most homework in terms of the hours per week. The second chart shows the nations that scored the best on an international science test. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts show education data related to young adults aged 15 years old in 10 different countries in 2015. The first chart shows in which countries adolescents do the most homework in terms of the hours per week. The second chart shows the nations that scored the best on an international science test. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given two bar charts illustrate
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 by country
according to
Linking Words
 school per week by young adults in ten different countries in the year 2015 and the nations who scored top in the international
science
Use synonyms
 test.
Overall
Linking Words
, Italy and Ireland obtained the highest number of
hours
Use synonyms
 in
housework
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 Finland scored top in
International
Correct article usage
the International
show examples
Science
Use synonyms
 Standard.
According to
Linking Words
 the first bar chart, Italian adolescents spent the highest 8.6
hours
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
housework
Use synonyms
 per week, and the adolescents from Ireland spent 7.2
hours
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
housework
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Canadian and Australian young people spent 5.7 and 5.9
hours
Use synonyms
 respectively
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
housework
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, young people from Finland and South Korea spent the lowest amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 in homework which was 2.8 and 2.9. In the second bar chart, we can see that
while
Linking Words
 teenage people from Finland spent the lowest amount of
hours
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their homework, they
did
Verb problem
had
show examples
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 score in
International
Correct article usage
the International
show examples
Science
Use synonyms
 Standard, which was 568.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, students from Hong Kong-China obtained the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 among all countries in
Science
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, Japan scored 541 in
Science
Use synonyms
 Standard.
Netherlands
Correct article usage
The Netherlands
show examples
 and the USA scored 518 and 516 in the
Science
Use synonyms
 Standard respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, housework, science with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 4 times.
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