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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

;=The table below shows the percentage of participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015./

;=The table below shows the percentage of participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015./
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The given table illustrates the
percentage
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 of participation of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 in senior management
positions
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 in three different companies (Eldan
Ltd
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, Bamforth
Ltd
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 and Finsbury
Ltd
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)
in
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apply
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every
five
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years
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 between 1975 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the table that the
percentage
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 of
women
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 in senior roles has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased throughout the period except for Finsbury
Ltd
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, where in 1980 and 2000, the
percentage
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 of
women
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employees
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 decreased. In the year 1975 and 1980, in Eldan
Ltd
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, there were only 3% of
women
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employees
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 in the senior
positions
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. Every
five
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years
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, it increased gradually, and in 2015, there were 64%
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women
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of women
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employees
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 in senior roles, which was the highest among all
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
. In terms of Bamforth
Ltd
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, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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2
Correct article usage
a 2
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%
of
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apply
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increase in the number of
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women
Change noun form
women's
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positions
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 in
five
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years
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 from 1975 to 2000, and it increased from 9% to 17%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2000, 46% of
women
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employees
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 were in that company in senior
positions
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. In terms of Finsbury
Ltd
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, 16% of
women
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employees
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 were there in the year 1975,
while
Linking Words
 it decreased by 2% and reached 14% after
five
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years
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 in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, in the next
five
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years
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, the
percentage
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 of
women
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 increased by 1% and reached 15%. In 2000, the
percentage
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 of
women
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 again decreased and reached 20%. In the next 5
years
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, it again increased and reached
at
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apply
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28%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, positions, ltd, five, years, women, employees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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