Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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General

speakig

Correct your spelling

speaking

I believe both points of view are important and correct.

First,

I think nowadays the world is more competitive

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

you need to have

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

skills independently from your degree

therefore

you could have more opportunities to be successful.

On the other hand

, it is

importan

Correct your spelling

important

to be

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

your current studies because you should pay attention to learn a lot and

then

you can apply to find a

god

Correct your spelling

good

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job. As far as I'm concerned the score is not the most important when you go to look for

a work

Remove the article

work

a job

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, because sometimes the interviewers are more interested in your skills,

for instance

when you

said

Wrong verb form

say

show examples

that you know play an instrument or dance, you could show that you are patient and organised to develop different activities.

Submitted by fetani on Tue Dec 03 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding the essay to provide a more comprehensive response. Ensure all aspects of the prompt are addressed in detail.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. This adds depth and clarity to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically, ensuring clear connections between points.

coherence cohesion

Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion to frame your essay's main points clearly.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to minor grammar and spelling errors to further improve clarity and professionalism.

task achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives provided in the prompt, which is a good start towards a balanced response.

task achievement

The writer effectively presents the relevance of acquiring additional skills in today's competitive job market.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear stance, adding to the coherence of the overall argument, even if further elaboration is needed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

131 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Fully explain your ideas

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

In recent years, there has been a surge in popularity of electrical vehicles. What are the advantages and disadvantages of EVs? Discuss and provide examples.

WHAT ARE THE MOST THREATS THAT THE NATURAL WORLD IS FACING IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY

It has been suggested that primary school children should be taught how to grow vegetables and keep animals. To what extent the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.