The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people argue that the public might benefit if all types of
advertisements
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were prohibited
,
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apply
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since they are not only useless but
also
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can be harmful to society. I definitely do not agree with
this
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opinion because I believe that advertising gives advantages to both
manufacturers
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and consumers
,
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apply
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and
thus
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, gives enormous contributions to a nation's stable development. There is no doubt that
advertisements
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play a vital role in helping producers stay alive and develop. Advertising helps
manufacturers
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in maintaining
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maintain
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and
expanding
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expand
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their market share.
Advertisements
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provide buyers
wth
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with
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more information about new products or promotion campaigns and
therefore
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, encourage buying
behaviors
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behaviours
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. Companies' records usually witness an increase of 20- 30% in sales after they advertise their brands to the public.
For instance
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, most market surveys show that the revenue of global corporations
such
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as P&G or Unilever rises from 15 - 30% compared with before applying advertising.
That is
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the reason why big companies spend tons of money on advertising. Not only are
advertisements
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useful for
manufacturers
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, but they
also
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have beneficial effects on consumers. By seeing ads, buyers will have more choices when they intend to buy something. They will know about new products with new features and usages that can meet their demands at work or in their personal life.
Moreover
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,
advertisements
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also
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provide the buyers with details about discount or promotion campaigns, and help them to save a lot of money for other essential expenses.
For example
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, more than half of the young people in HCMC choose to go shopping after
advertisements
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about new products or promotion campaigns are announced.  In conclusion, I am convinced that advertising is not only crucial to
manufacturers
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but
also
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to consumers because it makes huge contributions to the sustainable development of a community.

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task achievement
Consider improving the introduction by clearly stating your viewpoint and briefly outlining the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all terms are spelled correctly, e.g., 'wth' should be 'with'.
task achievement
Enhance your examples by providing more specific details or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents clear arguments supporting your view with logical reasoning and relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • unnecessary expenditure
  • critical source
  • informed choices
  • misleading
  • exaggerate
  • survival
  • target audience
  • environmental degradation
  • disposal
  • art and expression
  • social and cultural value
  • commercial intent
  • reasoned conclusion
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