Taking a risk is essential if people want to change their lives, many opportunities come with risks and benefits as well. I think people need to be brave enough to face the risks because it will have a big impact on them and many advantages will come

Taking a risk is essential if people want to change their lives, many opportunities come with risks and benefits as well. I think people need to be brave enough to face the risks because it will have a big impact on them and many advantages will come.

On the other hand

Linking Words

raudahalimah

Dec 5, 2024

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Introduction Coherence

Make your introduction more detailed. Consider explaining clearly what the essay will discuss, and briefly mention both sides of the argument.

Supporting Details

Ensure that every main point is supported with specific examples or detailed explanations that relate directly to the topic.

Conclusion Coherence

Develop a conclusion that effectively summarizes the key points discussed and provides a final perspective on taking risks and change.

Task Coverage

Address counterarguments or alternative viewpoints to provide a comprehensive response to the task.

Topic Relevance

The essay introduces an interesting and relevant topic about taking risks for change.

Task Engagement

The writer attempts to engage with the task by acknowledging both risks and benefits associated with change.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

51 words

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Taking a risk is essential if people want to change their lives, many opportunities come with risks and benefits as well. I think people need to be brave enough to face the risks because it will have a big impact on them and many advantages will come

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many automobile manufacturers created self-driving systems for their vehicles. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of releasing cars with this system.

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In some counntries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?