Taking a risk is essential if people want to change their lives, many opportunities come with risks and benefits as well. I think people need to be brave enough to face the risks because it will have a big impact on them and many advantages will come

Taking a risk is essential if people want to change their lives, many opportunities come with risks and benefits as well. I think people need to be brave enough to face the risks because it will have a big impact on them and many advantages will come.

On the other hand

Linking Words

raudahalimah

Dec 5, 2024

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Introduction Coherence

Make your introduction more detailed. Consider explaining clearly what the essay will discuss, and briefly mention both sides of the argument.

Supporting Details

Ensure that every main point is supported with specific examples or detailed explanations that relate directly to the topic.

Conclusion Coherence

Develop a conclusion that effectively summarizes the key points discussed and provides a final perspective on taking risks and change.

Task Coverage

Address counterarguments or alternative viewpoints to provide a comprehensive response to the task.

Topic Relevance

The essay introduces an interesting and relevant topic about taking risks for change.

Task Engagement

The writer attempts to engage with the task by acknowledging both risks and benefits associated with change.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

51 words

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Taking a risk is essential if people want to change their lives, many opportunities come with risks and benefits as well. I think people need to be brave enough to face the risks because it will have a big impact on them and many advantages will come

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries today, there is an attitude that “anyone can do it” in the arts – music, literature, acting, craft, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous, and genuine talent is not valued and appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?

With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meal. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

When choosing a job, while some people think that the salary is the most important thing to be taken into consideration, others have a diverse view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?