With pressure on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A school-going child’s

overall

Linking Words

progress depends equally on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academics

as well as

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extra curricular

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activities.

However

Linking Words

, some people argue that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

should be discarded from the syllabus to help the

children

Use synonyms

better concentrate on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

in order to succeed academically. I strongly oppose

this

Linking Words

perspective. These non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

are a means to relax the

children

Use synonyms

’s minds and,

also

Linking Words

help in their

overall

Linking Words

personality development.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss these views in

further

Linking Words

detail. To embark on, extra-curricular

subjects

Use synonyms

like sports, art and craft are a great means to allow the

students

Use synonyms

to relax their brains after long hours of studying challenging

subjects

Use synonyms

like science and mathematics.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

relaxation and refreshment, these

students

Use synonyms

are able to concentrate better on their studies again, leading to better efficiency of learning.

Additionally

Linking Words

, engaging in

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

activities stimulates the right hemisphere of the brain

along with

Linking Words

the creative skills of these

students

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, as per the reports of a scientific study,

students

Use synonyms

who are allowed creative

break

Fix the agreement mistake

breaks

show examples

intermingled in their learning hours have higher learning efficiency as compared to those who did not get a break. To add on,

subjects

Use synonyms

like physical education are extremely crucial for the physical health and development of the pupils. Playing sports helps

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to maintain a good balance between studies and health.

Therefore

Linking Words

, without

subjects

Use synonyms

like physical education,

children

Use synonyms

are likely to become lethargic,

over-weight

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

and dull.

This

Linking Words

in turn affects their attention span, learning efficiency and capacity.

This

Linking Words

leads to poor academic performance.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is more often seen that

children

Use synonyms

who are physically active have better attention

span

Fix the agreement mistake

spans

show examples

and succeed academically better than those

students

Use synonyms

who are sedentary. To summarize,

although

Linking Words

succeeding in academics is important in recent times to have a good professional career and life, discarding non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

like sports,

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

will only make these

children

Use synonyms

dull,

less

Correct word choice

and less

show examples

efficient in studying which will lead to poor grades and performance at school.

Therefore

Linking Words

, academic and extra-curricular

subjects

Use synonyms

must be given equal importance in educational setups.

vaishnavivardekar2209Thu Dec 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Maintain the balance between academic and non-academic subjects in your discussion. Explore counterarguments to strengthen your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the variety of linking devices to enhance logical flow.

Task Achievement

Ensure each main point is equally expanded with supporting details.

Task Achievement

The introduction provides a clear stance on the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

Paragraphs are well-structured, with a clear focus.

Task Achievement

Good use of examples to support arguments.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this competitive age world, money and appearance make everything become easier. A part of society believes this viewpoint while others think hard work and determination will gain success. This writer is going to discuss both views and give my opinion.
8
band
in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The debate surrounding the migration of those living in suburbs to cities has sparked considerable controversy. While some assume this notion is beneficial to society, I highly regard it as a negative development due to the reasons this essay further elaborates on.
7
band
In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?
Nowadays, teens and preteens all over the world are more likely to spend time doing indoor activities rather than doing outdoor activities. I believe that it is because of the advanced technologies. Youngsters can play video games all day long or watch a marathon of cinema. In my view, the most effective way to quit this habit is to do more exercise. I will explain my point of view in the following paragraphs.
6.5
band
Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In a time when inequality has risen to an unbridgable gap between the top 1% and the bottom 99, leading to another crisis with its full impact falls upon the working class, a series of changes needs to be introduced. Wealth distribution in terms of wage payment is part of the reform, thus I agree strongly with its implementation.
7.5
band
Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
More and more multinational corporations are expanding into developing nations. Such a development has advantages like economic growth and a rise in employment opportunities. It also has disadvantages like loss of cultural values and environmental degradation.

With pressure on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?