IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It has been suggested that the times of the school day should be changed, to start and finish one hour later. Write an article of about 120 to 160 words for your school magazine giving your views.

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Nowadays, the times of the
school
Use synonyms
 day
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been changed to start and finish one hour later, so the
students
Use synonyms
 that
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 late to
school
Use synonyms
 will be getting additional
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
school
Use synonyms
 should not finish that late. First of all, the
students
Use synonyms
comes
Change the verb form
come
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 to
school
Use synonyms
 early in the morning and they are tired. When they wake up early in the morning and head straight to
school
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 their mind would still be foggy. They won'
t
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 think straight and won'
t
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 be able to focus on the lessons. Some
students
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 might be
sleep deprived
Add a hyphen
sleep-deprived
show examples
 from sleeping late.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 if
school
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 finishes that late, there won'
t
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 be enough time
extra
Change preposition
for extra
show examples
 activities for the
students
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intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in sports.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the
students
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 bring enough
interval
Fix the agreement mistake
intervals
show examples
 for their first break. If they wait more than that they won'
t
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 have enough for waiting.
Thirdly
Linking Words
 the parents might not be happy
aobut
Correct your spelling
about
 it too.
Since they
Correct word choice
They
show examples
 must be making arrangements to send their child to tuition after
school
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 but if they wait more than their usual time the
students
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 can'
t
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 go. In conclusion, the
students
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 should not wait for that long since they will be too tired and their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 might
overload
Wrong verb form
be overloaded
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 studying or gaining too much information.

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task achievement
Try to clarify and expand on each main point. For example, when discussing students coming to school early, delve deeper into why this impacts their performance. Examples or data on sleep and cognitive performance could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and within each paragraph. Use more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly, guiding the reader from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The writer made an effort to address the topic from multiple angles (students, extracurricular activities, parents).
task achievement
The writer clearly states their stance in the introduction and conclusion, showing an effort to fully respond to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sleep deprivation
  • circadian rhythm
  • academic performance
  • alertness
  • concentration
  • well-being
  • schedule adjustments
  • transportation logistics
  • after-school activities
  • family routines
  • time management
  • school timetable
What to do next:
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