Children should do organized activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Discussion)
Free
time
should allow people to do things they want to do. Some believe Use synonyms
children
should spend their free Use synonyms
time
doing scheduled Use synonyms
activities
to stay organised. Meanwhile, others argue they should spend their Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
however
they want. In my opinion, I believe younger kids should be allowed to do anything during their free Linking Words
time
.
Indeed, Use synonyms
children
might not have hobbies or to-do list Use synonyms
activities
they can do yet because they are still very young. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they cannot decide what kind of activity they want. Linking Words
Consequently
, as their guardians, Linking Words
parents
can support them by helping them find their hobby. One way they can do Use synonyms
this
is by organising Linking Words
activities
that their kids can do during their free Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
This
could not only help them to find a hobby but Linking Words
also
develop their ability to be organised. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
parents
register their Use synonyms
children
in some sports and music classes during their free Use synonyms
time
after school, Use synonyms
therefore
, the Linking Words
children
can try various Use synonyms
activities
on a scheduled basis and find their Use synonyms
interest
. A child with proper guidance like Use synonyms
this
can grow a passionate personality Linking Words
with
an organised manner.
Change preposition
in
However
, Linking Words
children
that allowed to do anything during their free Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
also
could find their Linking Words
interest
. Kids Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
the
very young age should be able to explore the world by themselves because they have a big Correct article usage
a
curiosity
. If Use synonyms
parents
provide them Use synonyms
too
many Change preposition
with too
activities
for them to do during their free Use synonyms
time
, they might get confused since they cannot refuse to Use synonyms
not
do the Rephrase
apply
activities
they do not enjoy. In the worst case, they might feel burdened to follow the scheduled Use synonyms
activities
. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
children
cannot find their Use synonyms
interest
that they can choose as their hobby. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
parents
should be able to facilitate their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
curiosity
by letting them do things they want. When their Use synonyms
curiosity
is fulfilled they can find their passion. Free Use synonyms
time
just like its name should be done by doing anything an individual Use synonyms
want
.
In summary, Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
although
guiding Linking Words
children
by organising Use synonyms
activities
may support them in finding hobbies and Use synonyms
build
an organised personality, they are likely to feel pressured to do all the Wrong verb form
building
activities
. Use synonyms
Children
have a Use synonyms
curiosity
that should be supported by giving them Use synonyms
allowance
to choose Correct article usage
an allowance
activities
they want to do during their free Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
Hence
, free Linking Words
time
could give them freedom to grow their own Use synonyms
interest
.Use synonyms
Submitted by salsabunga on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and that ideas within paragraphs are linked logically.
task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that presents your stance more explicitly.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and shows an understanding of the implications of each side.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph leads logically to the next, maintaining a steady flow of discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reinforces your opinion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.