You recently travelled by train on a long journey and you experienced various problems. Write a letter to the train company's head office. In your letter, - Give the details of your journey, including the date, time and where you sat - explain the problems that happened and express your dissatisfaction - ask about what action will be taken to improve the service

#train #journey #company #head #office #date #time #dissatisfaction #action #service

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Dear

sir

Capitalize word

Sir

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/mam I am writing

this

letter to inform you that recently I travelled by your train called 'Pacificrim' though I was excited because of your

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

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reputation

yet

Correct word choice

apply

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I had to experience countless problems. It was

a 8 hours

Correct your spelling

an 8-hour

journey from Finland to London beside

that

Correct word choice

apply

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I checked it online too.In the evening 5 am sharp on 21st September I boarded in my cabin. I thoroughly read your

pre booking

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pre-booking

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business class cabins.so without thinking I booked cabin 8A.

However

Add a comma

However,

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I was disappointed by the maintenance of the cabin

moreover

my windows were hinged .

In addition

to that your crew members were rude.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

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the food messed with my palate,despite that I showed patience. Now I am concerned

what

Change preposition

about what

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changes are you going to take to maintain the reputation,if it

consequently

stays like

this

trust me I am going to complain about

this

To sum up

I thoroughly believe you must take complaints from every passenger

as a result

you will be able to provide better services Yours sincerely Umar

Submitted by umarilyas121 on Thu Dec 05 2024

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structure

Ensure each paragraph develops a single clear idea, and find ways to avoid confusing the reader with unclear transitions between thoughts.

tone

Try to maintain a formal tone throughout the letter, avoiding informal language or abrupt expressions. Use full sentences and a polite tone when expressing dissatisfaction.

structure

The letter's structure with an opening and closing is well done. It includes greeting and closing respectfully, which is appropriate for a formal letter.

content

The response covers all parts of the given task: details of the journey, expression of dissatisfaction, and requesting actions. This completeness meets the task achievement criteria well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

174 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?