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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#children #women #years #australia #year #information #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given table illustrates the
percetange
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
women
Use synonyms
 aged 40-44 years who ever gave birth
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1981 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 in 1981 mostly
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 Two
children
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
ratio
Use synonyms
 increased significantly each year.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 with
four
Use synonyms
 or more
children
Use synonyms
 decreased drastically. It is clear from the given data that the lowest percentage throughout the period
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
women
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 with one child, in 1981 it was 7.6 and the figure increased by 5.6% in 2006.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the same trend is found in
women
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 with no child as in 1981 the
ratio
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 8.5 and in year 2006 it
raised
Verb problem
increased
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 by 7.4%. It is evident that
women
Use synonyms
 with two kids have the highest
ratio
Use synonyms
 since
start
Add an article
the start
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, in 1981 it was 29.0 and it elevated significantly in 1986 but remained almost constant in the year 1996 and 2006, 38.2 and 38.3 respectively. Ladies with three and
Four
Use synonyms
 or more kids have almost equal
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
percentages in 1981, 27.4 and 27.6 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in 2006, the proportion of three
children
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 and
four
Use synonyms
 or more
children
Use synonyms
's ratios
decreaded
Correct your spelling
decreased
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of
four
Use synonyms
 or more
Use synonyms
children
Add a comma
children,
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 the
ratio
Use synonyms
 reduced significantly by 16.6%.
Submitted by mobarmansha1817 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, children, ratio, four with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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