Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is a common belief that student's school performance and emotional development are influenced more by teachers than by
classmates
.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
firmly believe that
classmates
are more influential
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
students
are motivated academically by their
peers
and become more and more mature by socializing with them.
To begin
with,
students
are motivated by competing with their fellow
classmates
.
For instance
,
students
usually have a desire to outperform their
peers
by demonstrating broader knowledge and achieving higher scores. Competition is especially fierce in the classroom, where
students
study
the same material in the same place.
According to
a recent survey,
students
overwhelmingly
started
Correct your spelling
stated
show examples
that their
peers
motivated them to
study
more than their teachers.
This
is because competition
played
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
a key role in their motivation.
This
study
offers strong proof that
classmates
significantlly
Correct your spelling
significantly
affect a student's academic achievement. On top of that, socializing at school allows children to grow emotionally through cultivating relationships with
peers
.
Students
spend a large amount of their time in the classroom.
Classmates
help them grow emotionally by providing them
new
Change preposition
with new
show examples
ideas, beliefs and experiences.
This
can help
students
develop a better ability to control their emotions and get
along with
others. One
study
,
for example
, shows that adolescents learn how to control their tempers and cooperate with others mostly by interacting with their friends at school.
This
demonstrates how important relationships with
classmates
are for
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
emotional development.
To sum up
,
classmates
create
schoolarly
Correct your spelling
scholarly
competition and help
students
mature. For these reasons,
it is clear that
a student's academic
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
and interpersonal development are affected more by
peers
than by educators.
Submitted by thanhphat7070 on

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Language
Work on minimizing small spelling errors, such as 'beacause' instead of 'because' and 'significantlly' instead of 'significantly'. These slight inaccuracies do not significantly hinder communication but could be distracting.
Task Response
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by ensuring your main points are distinct and unmistakably connected to the argument. This will help in making the essay more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your essay more effectively by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. This will improve coherence and guide the reader through your argument.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear position on the topic with a well-defined thesis statement in the introduction.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, such as the survey mentioned and the study on adolescents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic achievement
  • emotional growth
  • peers
  • impact
  • role models
  • social support
  • motivate
  • strive
  • collaborative learning environment
  • share resources
  • provide explanations
  • self-esteem
  • peer pressure
  • bullying
  • emotional difficulties
  • social dynamics
  • educational environment
  • expertise
  • personal influence
  • daily attitudes and behaviors
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