The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for

different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting

and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph depicted above gives information about foreigners who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
UK
for three main purposes over a thirty-
year
period, spanning from 1989.
To begin
, those who wanted to spend their holidays in the
UK
have the most significant
number
among
visitors'
Change noun form
visitors
show examples
groups. Starting at over 6
million
visitors
in the first
year
, it hit a maximum
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
9
million
five years later. Following a sudden drop,
although
it reached nearly the same
number
of
visitors
as the
firs
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
year
in 2004, afterwards with a steady rise, again it touched 9
million
in the
last
year
.
Moreover
, the
number
of
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
traveling
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travelling
show examples
to the
UK
decreased from 5
million
to 4
million
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the commencement of the period, but it went up gradually and surpassed the
number
of tourists in the holiday group at under 7
million
by the
year
2004. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it kept its upward trend until the
last
years and reached 8
million
, it fell to 7
million
in the
year
2009. Now turning our attention
two
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
the group with fewer
visitors
,
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
travellers, those who intended to meet their families and friends had the lowest
number
of visits over the period. Beginning at under 4
million
, it experienced a stable upward trend to reach 7
million
in the
year
2008;
then
it dropped to 6
million
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
last
year
.
Overall
, more people went to the
UK
for spending
Change preposition
to spend
show examples
their
leisur
Correct your spelling
leisure
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
.
Submitted by faraisam33 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, number, visitors, million, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • statistics
  • year-on-year comparison
  • peak periods
  • holidaymakers
  • business trips
  • educational tourism
  • significant increase/decrease
  • data interpretation
  • exponential growth
  • steady decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cultural events
  • tourist influx
  • graph analysis
  • quantitative change
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