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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Employers should give their staff at least a 4- week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#employers #staff #week #holiday #year #employees #jobs
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In modern society, the discussion for the extended holiday has been discussed for many days. with arguing holidays for a longer holiday for a year. in my view, I strongly agree employees should be given
extended
Add an article
an extended
show examples
 holiday for a year
this
 will make them refresh and improve their productivity. There are several positive effects of extended holidays, one major advantage is taking a vacation for outdoor activities.
for example
, when we do outdoor activities
such
 as hiking and surfing.
this
 makes our minds relaxed and gives us positive vibes.
this
 much-needed break gives strength back to us and makes our minds fresh which will reflect in the
work
 in a good way.
Furthermore
, the
time
 and opportunities.
for instance
, during
time
 off we can join a course to learn new skills to level up our skills. when we go back to our
work
 new skills may help us to move next level in our office.
Finally
, the longer vacation allows spend
time
 with loved ones in the family, we can go on a tour with them to experience different cultures across the world by doing
this
 people can get more focus when they come back to
work
 . in conclusion, the longer leave gives employees much-needed
time
 off and when they return back to
work
 after the vacation they can focus on
work
 in nature which will increase productivity.
Submitted by kr.kumbadev on

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introduction conclusion present
Include a stronger introductory statement that clearly outlines your perspective to better set up the essay's main points.
logical structure
Develop paragraphs with more logical flow and connection between ideas to improve overall structure.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples to back up your points and enhance relevance.
supported main points
Ensure each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument to strengthen coherence.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position on the topic, supporting the stance that employees should have extended holidays.
introduction conclusion present
A structured conclusion is present, summarizing the main arguments effectively.
supported main points
The essay provides multiple reasons for the benefits of extended holidays, such as relaxation, learning, and family time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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