Some people prefer to spend their lives dong the same things and avoiding change. Other, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
It is considered by some
people
that spending their time
doing the same thing rather than change
their Wrong verb form
changing
habits
, while
there are others who think that it is better to have many experiences to increase soft skills
. In my opinion, I believe that exploring many experiences is essential for a successful future, such
as job
skills
, and academic skills
, and more useful for surviving in the work environment
On the one hand, many people
think in your golden age you should explore some experience either in academic competition, sports, or business. For many people
, this
can be Correct article usage
an advantages
advantages
when the employees apply for jobs in good companies. Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
Also
, this
can be different from other job
applicants. Another reason is spending their time
with new activities
can increase skills
and knowledge which can be a key to success. For
this
reason, I believe that having many experience require
Change the verb form
requires
the
good future.
Correct article usage
a
On the other hand
, spending time
with the same activities
makes more focus on their potential. This
also
can be key to success. Someone who does the same habits
more easily to manage
their Change the verb form
manages
time
, so they can balance in job
with other activities
. For
this
reason, I also
believe people
without change in their habits
also
can increase their skills
.
In conclusion, getting a good job
is a relevant background either in experience or habits
depending on the type of work and field, while
other people
doing the same activities
can make people
more focused on their potential which it
can be key to having a good future.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks to one main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Try to clearly distinguish between the views before expressing your own opinion. This clarity will aid in making your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, linking back to your initial opinion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite