Some people prefer to spend their lives dong the same things and avoiding change. Other, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is considered by some
people
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that spending their
time
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doing the same thing rather than
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
their
habits
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,
while
Linking Words
there are others who think that it is better to have many experiences to increase soft
skills
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. In my opinion, I believe that exploring many experiences is essential for a successful future,
such
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as
job
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skills
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, and academic
skills
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, and more useful for surviving in the work environment On the one hand, many
people
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think in your golden age you should explore some experience either in academic competition, sports, or business. For many
people
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,
this
Linking Words
can be
Correct article usage
an advantages
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advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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when the employees apply for jobs in good companies.
Also
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,
this
Linking Words
can be different from other
job
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applicants. Another reason is spending their
time
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with new
activities
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can increase
skills
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and knowledge which can be a key to success.
For
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this
Linking Words
reason, I believe that having many experience
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good future.
On the other hand
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, spending
time
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with the same
activities
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makes more focus on their potential.
This
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also
Linking Words
can be key to success. Someone who does the same
habits
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more easily
to manage
Change the verb form
manages
show examples
their
time
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, so they can balance in
job
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with other
activities
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.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, I
also
Linking Words
believe
people
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without change in their
habits
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also
Linking Words
can increase their
skills
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. In conclusion, getting a good
job
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is a relevant background either in experience or
habits
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depending on the type of work and field,
while
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other
people
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doing the same
activities
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can make
people
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more focused on their potential which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be key to having a good future.
Submitted by dliyaa on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks to one main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Try to clearly distinguish between the views before expressing your own opinion. This clarity will aid in making your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, linking back to your initial opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • comfort
  • security
  • routine
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • peaceful life
  • expertise
  • mastery
  • job satisfaction
  • career advancements
  • fear of the unknown
  • risky
  • unsettling
  • failures
  • unexpected challenges
  • personal growth
  • professional growth
  • opportunities
  • novel experiences
  • skills development
  • adaptability
  • resilient
  • unpredictabilities
  • innovation
  • progress
  • catalyst
  • new technologies
  • ideas
  • improvements
  • community
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