Some people get into debts by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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In
this
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modern society, nowadays
in
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is
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unfortunately very common to observe people taking
credits
Fix the agreement mistake
credit
show examples
in
order
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to purchase goods or services that are beyond their budgets. The increase in
this
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tendence
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tendency
can be a cause of many factors, that I will describe in
this
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essay.
At the end
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of
this
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article, I will suggest some steps that could be followed in
order
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to limit
this
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behaviour. To start with the reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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phenomena
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phenomenon
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, I would like to stress the
big
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large
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amount of advertising we are
expoused
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exposed
to every day.
For example
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, since we start our daily routine we are "virtually bombed" with an amusing amount of announcements in
form
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the form
show examples
of
pop ups
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pop-ups
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in
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on
show examples
our cellphones, tablets, smartwatches and so on.
Furthermore
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, we are not only invaded by
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this
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these
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traditional forms of advertising but by much more sophisticated and dangerous ones,
such
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as subtle colours or aromas in a store that make us feel like we deserve and need the products or services that
enterprise
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the enterprise
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sells.
Secondly
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, another important reason I believe that makes people
to
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apply
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get things they know in
advace
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advance
that they are not able to afford
,
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apply
show examples
is the fact that when an economic
crises
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crisis
show examples
occurs, they still
purchaising
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purchasing
goods and services they were used to
acquire
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acquiring
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in
order
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to maintain their
life
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living
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standards .
For example
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, they keep buying expensive cars, going to the same destinations on vacations and wearing the same brand´s
cloths
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clothes
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, in
order
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to keep belonging to a
determinated
Correct your spelling
determined
social class. Regarding the steps that could be taken in
order
Use synonyms
to prevent society from
this
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behaviour, I do strongly
beliveve
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believe
that financial education should be taught
since
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from
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a very young age.
For instance
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, if schools would offer subjects related to
this
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issue, the probability of those children going
on
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into
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debt
for acquiring
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to acquire
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things they can not afford will substantially decrease.
In addition
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, firms should be penalised when using
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
tools to sell their produce, and
last
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but not least, governments should seriously reform competition laws in
order
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to regulate the market and promote
a
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apply
show examples
fair trade.
Submitted by laura.trevino.ar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay maintains a clear and consistent point of view throughout. Some parts seem a bit disjointed, such as the introduction and how the reasons are explained, especially in the second main point.
task achievement
Be cautious of grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'expoused' which should be 'exposed' and 'expensive cloths' which should be 'clothes'. While they do not drastically affect understanding, they can be distracting.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets up the essay well by clearly stating what will be discussed.
relevant specific examples
You present specific examples that strengthen your points, such as the role of advertisements and maintaining life standards during economic crises.
complete response
The suggestion of financial education is well thought out and adds weight to your argument regarding potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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