The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#bar #participation #children #leisure #activities #australia #information #features #comparisons

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The bar chart illustrates the

percentages

Use synonyms

of children, aged between 5 to 14 years old, who engaged in 5 different leisure activities in Australia.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that

Remove the comma

apply

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a much larger

propotion

Correct your spelling

proportion

of boys participated in different activities

comparison

Change preposition

in comparison

show examples

with girls who just contained higher

percentages

Use synonyms

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

, the

totall

Correct your spelling

total

Use synonyms

percentages

Fix the agreement mistake

percentage

show examples

of children

regrdless

Correct your spelling

regardless

of their

genders

Fix the agreement mistake

gender

show examples

enjoyed watching TV.

Firstly

Linking Words

, 40% of boys and 30% of girls were interested in

skate boarding

Correct your spelling

skateboarding

show examples

. it is noticeable that

while

Linking Words

the

Use synonyms

percentages

Fix the agreement mistake

percentage

show examples

of girls

did

Correct pronoun usage

who did

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either bike riding or electronic computer games was as much as

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

, boys were more

exciting

Replace the word

excited

show examples

Change preposition

about

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playing electronic computer games.

conversely

Linking Words

,all children regardless of their

genders

Fix the agreement mistake

gender

show examples

were much more into

waching

Correct your spelling

watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

rather than other leisure activities.

Submitted by mahanz on Sun Dec 08 2024

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words percentages with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

127 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Participation rates
Leisure activities
Notable differences
Popularity
Trends
Time period
Comparison
Contrast
Gender preferences
External factors
Implications
Cultural influences
Facilities availability
Technological effects

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The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the teenager’s years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people today struggle to use modern electronic technology such as smart phones and computers. Why do you think this is ? What can be done to solve this problem ?

Some people believe that eventually all the jobs will be done by artificial intelligence. What is your opinion?