IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#year #languages #people #life #world
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Each year some
languages
Use synonyms
 are wiped out
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is an unimportant matter. They think living in the world could be easier because of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because
it is clear that
Linking Words
 by dying out some
languages
Use synonyms
 some cultures might die too and it can be hard for
people
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 mother
language
Use synonyms
 to die. On the one hand,
that is
Linking Words
 true
less
Correct word choice
that fewer
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
 make life easier
whereas
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 way some rules cannot be manageable for some countries. When
languages
Use synonyms
 are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can immigrate easier
that is
Linking Words
 not the happen some countries want to happen.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are not hardworking can apply to more universities in comparison to the past.
This
Linking Words
 matter can cause some problems for governments which do not want to accept some
people
Use synonyms
 who did not try or worked hard.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, wiping out some
languages
Use synonyms
 can remove some cultures that are valuable for their
people
Use synonyms
. When
languages
Use synonyms
 die the identity of that country will die too.
People
Use synonyms
 lose their cultural identity which is harmful for them and they cannot socialize like the time when they had their own
language
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country, there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who are Arab and their
language
Use synonyms
 is Arabic I had a classmate who was Arab and she was not allowed to speak Arabic in class. After some time she was depressed because she could not socialize with other children who were Arab so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
she could
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her
language
Use synonyms
 in the past. In the bottom line, dying out
languages
Use synonyms
 can be effective in
people
Use synonyms
's personalities and
also
Linking Words
 their abilities to socialise with each other
similarly
Linking Words
 it can affect some countries' rules. I do not believe that it could be helpful to happen and some measures must created to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Improve clarity by using more precise language and constructing more straightforward sentences.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and linking words to enhance readability.
task achievement
Support your ideas with more specific examples and elaboration in order to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly disagrees with the statement and provides reasons for this stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the central argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The examples provided are relevant and supportive of the main arguments regarding cultural identity and immigration.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Language extinction
  • Communication barrier
  • Linguistic imperialism
  • Endangered languages
  • Language revitalization
  • Monolingual
  • Multilingual
  • Language preservation
  • Homogenization
  • Language policy
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Intangible heritage
  • Indigenous languages
  • Globalization
  • Dialects
  • Localization
  • Language documentation
  • Digital archiving
What to do next:
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