Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #enjoable #job #money #salary #life

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Some employees consider having an enjoyable company with enough salary to be key for

life

while

others think a good salary can lead to a better

life

. In my opinion, I believe that high

salaries

are useful for the

future

whereas

an enjoyable

job

gives more and brings a good quality of

life

. On the one hand, many people think preparing for the

future

is important. Having a

job

without thinking about

salaries

cannot bring a good

future

. Nowadays, stability financing is hard to survive in the world, many essentials are expensive,

such

as living expenses, school for children, transportation, and other expenses.

For

this

reason, I believe applying for high

salaries

is necessary for preparing a good

future

On the other hand

, having a good environment can lead to a quality of

life

such

as less depression. Many employees risk getting mental problems cause the pressure from their boss or cruel employees. People choosing to have a good environment can increase their self-love which

this

way to having a good quality of

life

For

this

reason, I believe when people enjoy their

job

or company more effectively for their health it can lead to a good

future

. In conclusion, getting a good

future

depends on the type of salary either stabilized or higher. Some positions require having good

salaries

while

others gain more from enjoying the

job

Submitted by dliyaa on Mon Dec 09 2024

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task achievement

Try to ensure that your main ideas are supported by specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your essay by using more linking words or phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your discussion.

task achievement

You have presented both sides of the argument and provided your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that goverment is responsilbe for crime prevention. Others think that individuals are responsible to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some old people today's struggle with the use of modern technology such as smartphone and computers. what is the cause of this? what are the some possible solutions?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.