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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The figure shows the results of a survey of 1000 adolescents in five different countries.the participants were asked at what age they believed certain rights and responsibilities should be granted to young people. summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features.

The figure shows the results of a survey of 1000 adolescents in five different countries.the participants were asked at what age they believed certain rights and responsibilities should be granted to young people. summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features.
#figure #results #survey #adolescents #five #countries #participants #age #rights #responsibilities #people #summarise #infomation #features
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The bar chart provides information in 5 different countries about a survey that was done on 1000 adolescents to know at what
age
Use synonyms
 they should be granted their rights and responsibilities in three different categories.
Overall
Linking Words
japan
Use synonyms
 has the highest
age
Use synonyms
 for
marriage
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,voting and criminal responsibility and the smallest
age
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 for criminal responsibility goes for the
USA
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 which is 12 years old. The ages of these three categories are different in all five countries except the
USA
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 and
Mexico
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.In these nations, the ages of people who have the right to
marriage
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 and voting are the same in the
USA
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this
Linking Words
age
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 is 18 and in
Mexico
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 is 16.The UK has similar
age
Use synonyms
 responsibilities for voting as
Mexico
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 and
also
Linking Words
 it has the same
age
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 in
marriage
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 as the
USA
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.The
age
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 of
Marriage
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 in
Mexico
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 and Egypt
also
Linking Words
 believes the same.
However
Linking Words
, it is considered as the lowest
age
Use synonyms
 in these countries and it is 17 years old.
Japan
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 has the biggest differences compared with others in other nations
for instance
Linking Words
 in
Japan
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 criminal responsibility is 18 but in the
USA
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 it is 12.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the highest
age
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 in these categories goes to
marriage
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 in
Japan
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 at 22 years old which has the 4 differences with the lowest
age
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by helia on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, japan, marriage, usa, mexico with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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