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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two bar charts below show the proportion of 14-to 16-year-old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three foreign languages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The two bar charts below show the proportion of 14-to 16-year-old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three foreign languages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#two #bar #show #proportion #-to #students #language #english #country #three #languages #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided bar charts represent the percentage of students aged 14 to 16 studying a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 made by in an English-native country.
This
Linking Words
 survey compared the rates of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 the top three languages studied from 1984 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
language
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 dominated in both years and female students showed
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 interest in
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 another
language
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. Looking in more detail, almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the girls learned a foreign
language
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while
Linking Words
 the boys accounted just for 30% in 1984.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of women in
this
Linking Words
 course declined by 10%
lower
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
even though still leading the portion compared to men at a quarter.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, regardless of gender, half of the total students studied French in 1984. In the same year, German was the second most popular
language
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 (20%), followed by Spanish at around 5%. In 2007, despite German and Spanish
shared
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 a similar ascending trend, rising to 25% and 10% respectively, French recorded a decrease to 35% but still the highest preferred
language
Use synonyms
 of study.
Submitted by nineband9s on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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