IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the resuits of a survey about people's coffee and teabuying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.Summarise the information by seiecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the resuits of a survey about people's coffee and teabuying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.Summarise the information by seiecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#resuits #survey #people #coffee #habits #five #australian #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides information in terms of the percentages of citizen who buy
coffee
 and tea and
also
 their drinking habits in five different regions in Australia.
Overall
, at first glance, it becomes clear that
Hobart
 had the highest proportion of buying both fresh and
instant
coffee
,
while
 the highest average of
people
 who went to cafes for
coffee
 or tea were in both
Hobart
 and Melbourne regions. It is evident that the
percentage
 of
people
 who bought fresh
coffee
 was lower than that of
instant
coffee
,
whithin
Correct your spelling
within
 all regions .
Moreover
, In all cities,
people
 prefer to go to cafes for drinking. In Sydney,
while
 the
percentage
 of
people
 interested in buying fresh
coffee
 was nearly 45%, the
percentage
 of those who bought
instant
coffee
 was a bit higher, nearly 47%.
Additionally
, in Melbourne and Brisbane, the percentages of
people
.
Conversely
, the
percentage
 of individuals who bought fresh
coffee
 in Adelaide city was 35 per cent, much lower than those of
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Hobart
.
In contrast
, a sizeable proportion of
people
 in
Hobart
 bought
instant
coffee
 in the
last
 4 weeks, reaching nearly 55%.
Submitted by mahanz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, hobart, instant, people, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: