The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Over the years, the existence of
science
hold
Wrong verb form
has held
show examples
a crucial role as a
tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
tool
show examples
for developing a better life for the
people
.
From infrastructure
Change preposition
Infrastructure
show examples
, healthcare, transportation, and all
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
things are based
from
Change preposition
on
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scientific research.
Thus
, I strongly agree that
science
should be aimed
to improve
Change preposition
at improving
show examples
the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
.
To begin
with, it is a fact that our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
rely entirely on
science
. As stated before
that
Correct word choice
apply
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everything in
this
world
is occur
Change the verb form
occurs
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because of
the
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
science
discoveries
. In the future, the scientific project will
also
adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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the advancement of technology.
This
shows how significant the role of
science
in our society to improving
people
's lives.
Furthermore
, it cannot be denied that many scientific
discoveries
are aimed only
because of
Change preposition
at
show examples
the personal purposes of certain
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
show examples
.
For instance
, the
discoveries
of nuclear first
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
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as an advancement of
science
.
However
, throughout the years it
changes
Wrong verb form
has changed
show examples
into the most dangerous weapon that ever
exist
Wrong verb form
existed
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that
threat
Correct your spelling
threatens
show examples
the
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
of
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
show examples
people
in the world.
To sum up
, I argue that indeed it is important for
science
to
aimed
Wrong verb form
aim
show examples
to improve
people
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
discoveries
Add a comma
discoveries,
show examples
it will affect the life of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
in a good way.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a strong point. However, ensure that each paragraph develops one clear idea with supporting evidence. This would enhance clarity and depth in your argumentation.
task achievement
The essay generally addresses the topic but consider using more specific examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but makes it more relatable and convincing.
grammar
Try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammar to boost your score. This will make your essay more engaging to read and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear stance on the given statement and successfully establishes a theme throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively guide the reader and wrap up the main ideas well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
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