In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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One of the biggest discussed Issues nowadays is whether individual financial security more prioritised over traditional

marriage

Use synonyms

. Now

women

Use synonyms

Are beginning to think they do not need to have a partner to be financially independent. Personally, I agree with

this

Linking Words

type of view and there are some reasons to think so.

Firstly

Linking Words

, It is well known that in modern times

women

Use synonyms

can earn more than some men and

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

they do not see the point in

marriage

Use synonyms

. What I mean here is that now

women

Use synonyms

have different types of

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

to evolve. A Decade ago

women

Use synonyms

had to get married to be financially secure because they could not make any decisions to be

financial

Change the adjective

financially

show examples

independent. One of the main reasons behind

that is

Linking Words

world at that time was not economically stable enough,

as well as

Linking Words

patriarchal. A good case in point is that

women

Use synonyms

in past after getting married had to do

houseworks

Correct your spelling

housework

or marital commitments to “pay” for their independence of money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since their household income came from their husbands.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it can

also

Linking Words

be argued that now societal norms are changing.

This

Linking Words

means that now the view of many modern societies changed.

Marriage

Use synonyms

is about helping each other and improving lives for each other. But now some of us think

conversely

Linking Words

about

marriage

Use synonyms

, so

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

do not want to waste

their

Correct pronoun usage

our

show examples

time

for

Change preposition

show examples

traditional expectations.

Instead

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Add a comma

it,

show examples

they prefer to invest in their own

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

, professional growth,

individual

Correct word choice

and individual

show examples

goals. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that nowadays

marriage

Use synonyms

is not about improving

life

Add an article

the life

show examples

women

Use synonyms

. In many cases, it happens the other way around.

dnm.bestTue Dec 10 2024

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task achievement

Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your main argument and outlining the points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical flow between your ideas in the body paragraphs to ensure smoother transitions.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or statistics to reinforce your points and make your argument more compelling.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear viewpoint on the issue.

task achievement

You demonstrate an understanding of the historical context of marriage and women's roles, which adds depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages