IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help people and societies the way people of other occupations such as doctors, teachers and soldiers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #sports #players #salary #societies #occupations #doctors #teachers #soldiers
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some
people
Use synonyms
 think professional
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports players
show examples
player
Use synonyms
 get paid too much
wages
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 they do not seem to help the
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
nether
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
 unlike
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, doctors and
ther
Correct your spelling
other
their
 occupations
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
.
Rephrase
Even eventhough
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eventhough
Correct your spelling
though
 professional
sports
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 don't contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 help of societies like others do,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongely
Correct your spelling
strongly
 disagree with
and
Correct pronoun usage
them and
show examples
thinnk
Correct your spelling
think
 they deserve their high
wages
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. professional
sports
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 are dedicated to their roles and make
sacrefices
Correct your spelling
sacrifices
 more than most
people
Use synonyms
 expect. they spend most of the time of the year far away from their homes and families
workingout
Correct your spelling
working out
 and
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 techniques they have to learn.
moreover
Linking Words
, any
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
player
Use synonyms
 has to be on a strict diet most of the time which is not an easy thing.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 instance, a
player
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 who cannot eat
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily
show examples
, train hard most of the year daily and certainly does not resist being on their own most of the year, would not be
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
 as a professional
player
Use synonyms
.
takeing
Correct your spelling
Taking
 their
sacerfices
Correct your spelling
sacrifices
 into consideration, their salaries must be too much not like what some
people
Use synonyms
 think. high
wages
Use synonyms
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on how much an individual can offer in return. in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
, they must have been offering too much of their
confort
Correct your spelling
comfort
 in return
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that high salary.
otherwise
Linking Words
, most of the skills
players
Use synonyms
 and the gifted ones would not be professional
players
Use synonyms
 and
risking
Wrong verb form
risk
show examples
 all these
thing
Change the determiner
things
show examples
 in return
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 low
wages
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, as a professional
player
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time abroad the country, they would like to feel more valuable, the only way of
achieveing
Correct your spelling
achieving
this
Linking Words
 is with paying them a high salary.
to conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some argue
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the amount
oof
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 salary professional
sports
Use synonyms
player
Use synonyms
 gets,
however
Linking Words
, they do not contribute to aid the societies like
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 and doctors.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongely
Correct your spelling
strongly
 disagree with them. considering high
wages
Use synonyms
 depending on how much the person
offering
Add a missing verb
is offering
show examples
 and the dedication to their role. in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of professional
sports
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are offering
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much and
desrieve
Correct your spelling
derive
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 high salaries they get.
Submitted by tareq.kj on

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