In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?
Nowadays, economic growth has significantly increased wealth in both developing
countries
and developed Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
However
, it is observed that those Linking Words
people
are less happy than they used to be. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss the reasons for Linking Words
this
trend and the lessons that can be drawn from it.
In my opinion, there are two main reasons that cause rich Linking Words
people
unhappiness compared Use synonyms
in
the past. Change preposition
to
Firstly
, They spend most of their Linking Words
time
working Use synonyms
such
as working overtime, attending business dinners, and eating quick meals Linking Words
instead
of healthy food to save Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
As a result
, there are lack of essential Linking Words
time
for activities Use synonyms
such
as exercise, eating healthy food, meditation even medical check-ups. Mostly of unhappy Linking Words
people
develop health problems Use synonyms
for example
diabetes, cardiovascular disease or depression. Linking Words
Therefore
, they can prevent these illnesses by focusing on their well-being rather than prioritizing work.
Linking Words
Secondly
, I believe that Linking Words
the
family Correct article usage
apply
time
is Use synonyms
the
wonderful opportunity to heal the mind and create Correct article usage
a
sense
of comfort. In developed Add an article
a sense
Use synonyms
countries
most Add a comma
countries,
people
dedicate amounts of Use synonyms
time
to work because Use synonyms
their
prioritize earning high salaries for their families, children or parents. Much of Correct pronoun usage
they
this
Linking Words
time
is spent working when it should be reserved for family activities, Use synonyms
such
as resting or having dinner together. The absence of meaningful family interaction can result in Linking Words
felling
of loneliness or even lead to major depression. Correct your spelling
feelings
Consequently
, Linking Words
millionaire
in developed Fix the agreement mistake
millionaires
countries
are Use synonyms
foten
less happy compared Correct your spelling
often
in
the past.
In conclusion, Change preposition
to
while
economic growth has improved living standards, I Linking Words
also
introduced challenges Linking Words
such
as stress and social isolation in developed nations. By prioritizing mental well-being and community connections, societies can ensure that progress leads to both prosperity and happiness.Linking Words
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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grammar
Review proper use of singular and plural forms (e.g., 'there are lack' should be 'there is a lack').
cohesion
Consider improving transition between ideas for smoother flow.
grammatical range and accuracy
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
task response
The essay addresses the task effectively addressing both parts of the question.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion connect well with the essay's main points.
cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas from introduction through to conclusion.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?