IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #skill #cook #adults
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
Linking Words
 some people think that cooking ability is important to be learned since young, others perceive that it is better to wait
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 adulthood to learn how to cook.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both of the
stand points
Correct your spelling
standpoints
show examples
 before it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to its own conclusion. Obtaining food is a basic need for survival.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is important for
young-adult
Correct your spelling
young adults
show examples
 to have a certain degree of cooking knowledge. Even though it is not an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 skill, at least he can cook for himself in an emergency situation. It will not take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rocket science to know how to fry french fries
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 stirred vegetables so even teenagers could provide dinner for themselves whenever their parents are away.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people argue that young people need to concentrate on their school activities. There is no need for them to learn baking or frying since their parents will be on their side preparing meals
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 dangerous for teenagers to learn how to cook
regarding
Change preposition
because of
show examples
 the risk of
burnt
Add a missing verb
being burnt
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 heating oil.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, both sides
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 their own argument regarding the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cooking and parents' responsibility to provide food.
However
Linking Words
, I
am incline
Change the verb form
am inclined
show examples
 to the first opinion, it is insightful to learn cooking
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
. I think it is important to acquire new skills no matter how old you are.
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify your ideas more thoroughly to enhance understanding. Make sure each point is fully explained and linked to the overall argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring more seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument regarding when young people should learn cooking.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an understanding of the topic by addressing both perspectives in a balanced manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Culinary skills
  • Life skill
  • Independence
  • Healthy eating
  • Cultural heritage
  • Resource allocation
  • Academic priorities
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Refinement of skills
  • Advanced techniques
  • Practicality
  • Lifestyle adaptations
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Curriculum
What to do next:
Look at other essays: