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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the yield of wheat, barley , rice, and other grains grown in India, the USA , and China in 2001

The chart below shows the yield of wheat, barley , rice, and other grains grown in India, the USA , and China in 2001
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The bar chart provides data about the number of grains harvested, measured in million
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in three countries in 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
India
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 has the lowest amount of
yields
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,
while
Linking Words
 the highest results were in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
China
Use synonyms
. Regarding Wheat,
obviously
Add a comma
obviously,
show examples
USA
Use synonyms
 has slightly more
yields
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 than
China
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 and
India
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, with approximately 3,5
tonnes
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, compared to around, 2,5
tonnes
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 and just under 2
tonnes
Use synonyms
 for
China
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 and
India
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, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
 the figures for Barley, the largest amount was
USA
Use synonyms
 at just over 7
tonne
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,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest figure was in
India
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 at around 1,5
tonne
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. In
China
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, it was about 6,5
tonne
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. In terms of Rice, the highest yield in
China
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 was 6
tonnes
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,
while
Linking Words
 the smallest figure was in
India
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 at 1
tonne
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. In the
USA
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number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
yields
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 was at 5 hectares. Other gains, the number of
yields
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 in
India
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 and
USA
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 were exactly the same at 9 hectares. In
India
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, the level of
yields
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 was just under 2 hectares.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tonnes, india, yields, usa, china, tonne with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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