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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average australian household. the second chart shoes the greenhouse gas emissoions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average australian household. the second chart shoes the greenhouse gas emissoions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #shoes #greenhouse #gas #emissoions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These pie charts demonstrate the proportion of average
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
household
energy
Use synonyms
 and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, heating is the most
energy
Use synonyms
 consuming in Australian households and water heating which has formed the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 emissions has nearly the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 in
energy
Use synonyms
 using the chart. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 said, heating has formed the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
using
Change the form of the verb
use
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, in the contrary cooling has the lowest amount of
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 which is the same in
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 as well. In both
charts
Add a comma
charts,
show examples
 it
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
 as same
percentage
Use synonyms
 with just
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
% difference. The other similar feature is lightning,
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 rate for lighting is about 4% and in
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions it is twice
like
Change preposition
that
show examples
 8%. It is
also
Linking Words
 the same for using refrigeration in both charts, the
energy
Use synonyms
 usage is 7%
however
Linking Words
 in
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emission
this
Linking Words
 amount is about double and it is 14%. In
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emission chart the proportion of
refigeration
Correct your spelling
refrigeration
 and heating consider the same with just
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
%
differenced
Replace the word
difference
show examples
.
Submitted by helia on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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