Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Everyone has
different
opinion on Add an article
a different
this
.Getting along with
your work partners during evenings and weekends,while
keeping work-
Correct article usage
a work-life
life
balance is impotant
too.I am going to write Correct your spelling
important
this
essay by concuring
with the viewpoint that it is important to have a working Correct your spelling
concurring
life
entirely different from your colleagues.There are positive asspects
Correct your spelling
aspects
for example
, you can spend time
with your family and give attention to yourself.
I believe there is nothing more important than having a
quality Correct article usage
apply
time
with your family moreover
, when our life
becomes occupied a lot, we have only family to take care of us.As you get home, your mother has already prepared food for you and your father loves to listen about
all of your day experiences.Change preposition
to
Above all
of that, you feel secure around them everytime
.
Replace the word
every time
In contrast
to that you have time
to work on becoming a better version of your own.With some personal time
a great hobby can be adopted Add a comma
time,
for
instance, going to the gym, which will make you feel better and Add the comma(s)
, for
charimatic
.On the other side do not mind going to a salon, as you need to keep Correct your spelling
charismatic
shinnig
.Plus there is Correct your spelling
shining
shinning
spinning
a
plenty of Remove the article
apply
time
to have fun with your best friends.
The idea of having your colleagues around you even though, on the weekends is not a good idea.As you are already working, chatting and doing projects with them for an entire week is just a lot.Giving them more space in your life
will end up ruining your working environment and this
will lead to more arguments rather than work.
To sum up
, I always recommend to have
a personal social Change the verb form
having
life
because your family needs you though, your mind needs you to be stable so you can be more productive and happy.Submitted by umarilyas121 on
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task achievement
You have provided a complete response, addressing both viewpoints and giving your own opinion. However, consider expanding on each side a bit more to provide a more thorough discussion. Including additional examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a general logical flow, but clearer transitions between ideas would help improve coherence. Consider using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Supporting your main points with more specific examples or explanations would enhance your argument and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Your focus on the importance of family time and personal development provides a strong perspective and adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets out the issue and your stance, which helps the reader understand your perspective from the start.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.