Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's era of
modern
world,Add an article
the modern
life
has been
changed dramatically with Unnecessary verb
apply
technology
advancement.Some individuals have Replace the word
technological
perspective
that Add an article
a perspective
the perspective
fast
pace and stress of modern Correct article usage
the fast
life
have bad
impact on families.Correct article usage
a bad
However
,I also
opine that modern
way of living to cope Correct article usage
the modern
up
with Change preposition
apply
modern
world has Correct article usage
the modern
negative
effect on family bonds.
Add an article
a negative
To begin
with,in recent years,people are inclined to live a life
full of all latest
Correct article usage
the latest
facilites
and to achieve Correct your spelling
facilities
this
work
lifestyle has been changed drastically.This
includes increased working hours,work
from home and high peer pressure at Wrong verb form
working
work
,different timelines to meet .To illustrate this
,people doing work
from home will be on laptop
for almost 10 to 12 hours at home and they will not be able to focus on any other thing Add an article
the laptop
a laptop
apart from
this
and
eventually affecting their personal relationships.
Correct word choice
apply
In addition
that
, high pressure at Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
can also
invite to
unnecessary conflicts between family members.
Another reason why I support the notion is that the expedition and pressure of contemporary Change preposition
apply
life
can cause contentious arguments among family members. As a consequence
, they cant
understand the personality and interests of each member, leading to different viewpoints and prolonged quarrels. Correct your spelling
can't
In addition
, after a long day of hard work
, they are usually exhausted and more likely to get irritated.This
problem makes the family’s air even tenser and stuffy or leads to conflicts among family members. Then
, there needs to be mutual understanding, in order to avoid decreasing family ties ourselves.
In conclusion, I completely agree that the rapid pace and stress of modern life
can be caused on
family relationships by negative influences. Change preposition
by
Although
modern life
demands many things, it is also
essential to keep the family bonding intact and to balance one’s personal and professional life
.Submitted by pskhandelwal13 on
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task response
Try to develop the main points with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more persuasive and impactful.
coherence and cohesion
Work on maintaining a clearer logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should link smoothly to the next, creating a coherent flow of ideas.
language use
Avoid using repetitive phrases and vocabulary. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic flexibility and resourcefulness.
task response
You have introduced the topic clearly and your position is easily identifiable from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively reiterates your viewpoint and sums up the main arguments, providing closure to your essay.
task response
You've addressed the essay prompt directly and attempted to cover different aspects of the question, showing a good understanding of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.