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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows who Americans spend their time with, by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows who Americans spend their time with, by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph below illustrates who Americans spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with, by different groups of age per hour in one day.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 often American society prefers to stay alone.
In contrast
Linking Words
, spending
time
Use synonyms
 with friends is the lowest compared to other people.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, spending
time
Use synonyms
 with friends and family has similar
hours
Use synonyms
 by around 1-3
hours
Use synonyms
 per day.
In addition
Linking Words
,
expending
Verb problem
spending
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 with a partner is not that important for adults. But, old people like to specification about 3-4.5
hours
Use synonyms
 per day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, coworkers hanging out
time
Use synonyms
 increased just in
Correct article usage
the adults
show examples
adults
Change the noun form
adult
show examples
 line to 3
hours
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one noticeable thing is the alone
time
Use synonyms
 section. It is the highest average for all group ages except teenagers. It starts with 3
hours
Use synonyms
 for under 20 years old until 8
hours
Use synonyms
 for elderly people. The
last
Linking Words
 one is the children part. It has
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased from 30 years old to 40 years old. And it's not a sudden because they almost have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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