IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about how many
people
Use synonyms
taking
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 part in many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of physical activities
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2001 and 2009 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
While
Linking Words
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 an increase in
Use synonyms
number
Add an article
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 engaged in running, aerobics and tennis , it was clearly
seen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a decrease in
Use synonyms
number
Add an article
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 taking part in cycling and
swmming
Correct your spelling
swimming
 over the period of 8 years
People
Use synonyms
 engaging
running
Change preposition
in running
show examples
,
areobics
Correct your spelling
aerobics
 and tennis
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 1.4
billion
Use synonyms
, 1.5
billion
Use synonyms
 and 1
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively in 2001, there
an
Add a missing verb
was an
show examples
 increase in
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 for three activities between 2001 and 2009,
people
Use synonyms
 enjoying running
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 biggest proportion at 156% change.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 participating in aerobics and tennis are increased at 11% and 15% respectively. Cycling and swimming were chosen with the decrease amount from 4.5
billion
Use synonyms
 and 3.7
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively in 2001, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 decreased to 3.6 million and 3.3 million in 2009, with the percentage of change was under 0%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, number, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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