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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Task 1 : The pie charts below describe the electric energy production a major source of energy in the US. Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information in the charts

Task 1 : The pie charts below describe the electric energy production a major source of energy in the US. Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information in the charts
#energy #production #source #report #university #lecturer #information
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The pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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 information about the
electric
Correct word choice
apply
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major
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of energy
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced in the US
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the energy
production
Use synonyms
 from oil, natural gas and coal accounted for the largest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
,
hydro electric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
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power
Use synonyms
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 as a source of
engery
Correct your spelling
energy
 were produced with similar percentages in 1980 and 1990. The percentage of oil in
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
production
Use synonyms
 decreased
however
Linking Words
 in general, the proportion accounted for the largest percentage in the US was 42% in 1980 and 33% in 1990,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
engery
Correct your spelling
energy
production
Use synonyms
 from natural gas was approximately 25% in 1980 and 1990, the coal
production
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 1990 was 22% and 27% respectively. the
production
Use synonyms
 of
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
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hydro electric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
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power
Use synonyms
 accounted for an exact amount
of
Change preposition
apply
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percentage in 1980 and 1990 at 5%,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear
power
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 was 5% and 10% respectively in 1980 and 1990
Submitted by nguyennguyet.vcu on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words production, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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