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Band 5

In many societies, cultural traditions are considered an essential part of identity and heritage. However, in the modern world, maintaining these traditions can sometimes be challenging. What are the advantages and disadvantages of maintaining cultural traditions in modern societ

#societies #traditions #part #identity #heritage #world #societ
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In a number of countries, cultural
traditions
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
play
show examples
 an important
roal
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role
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 identity and heritage;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, nowadays world, maintaining these
traditions
Use synonyms
 sometimes be difficult. Clearly,
this
Linking Words
 can help
boot
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boost
show examples
 the
tourism
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 industry and can stay connected to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 roots, but there are some drawbacks that need to be taken into consideration.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can help different nations to earn more money
in
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apply
show examples
via
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tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 industry. In other world,
traditinoal
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traditional
event
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events
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 will attract
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tourism
Replace the word
tourists
show examples
 to visit new
place
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places
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 and learn about their
cultuer
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culture
cultures
 which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will increase the economy in many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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.
For example
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, In
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Malaysia
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malaysia
Add a comma
malaysia,
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 there are three different cultures
indian
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Indian
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,
malay
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Malay
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and chiness
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chiness
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Chinese
 which they do many events and
activites
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activities
 to attract
tourism
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
malayisa
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Malaysia
 one of the most popular countries for
tourism
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because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the diversity of cultural
traditions
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.
Secondly
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, it is important to stay connected to their roots.
this
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 is because
,
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apply
show examples
this
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 will help keep future
genaration
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generations
generation
obseirv
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observe
observed
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 old
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
 disadvantages of maintaining cultural
traditions
Use synonyms
. One
proplem
Correct your spelling
problem
 is that some cultural practices may not be suitable in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world.
This
Linking Words
 is to say, some people can not stay in their
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 because
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 personal interests.
For instance
Linking Words
 , some old
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not
allowe
Correct your spelling
allow
 women to go to school in past, but now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education is important so they
heve
Correct your spelling
have
 to change their
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
.
Therefore
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,
some time
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 it is important to change our
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
 to improve our community. Another issue is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
overemphasise
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overemphasis
show examples
 on preserving
traditions
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 might lead to
isolattion
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isolation
instead
Linking Words
 of embracing global integration. To
illustarate
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illustrate
, communities
rjecting
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rejecting
ejecting
 global language or new technologies for cultural preservation.
To sum up
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,
While
Linking Words
 there are advantages of
Correct your spelling
maintaining
mintaining
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maintaining
 cultural
traditions
Use synonyms
, it
also
Linking Words
 can lead to some
Correct your spelling
conflicts
conflicds
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conflicts
 and
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solution
isolution
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solutions
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Language Accuracy
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar for clarity. Avoid spelling mistakes and ensure proper use of tenses.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas should be more clearly organized and linked with cohesive devices. Try using varied linking phrases to enhance flow.
Task Response
Provide more balanced examples and elaboration for ideas presented. Discuss advantages and disadvantages in more detail.
Task Response
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of maintaining cultural traditions.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present in the essay, which summarizes main points effectively.
Supporting Details
The essay provides concrete examples from Malaysia to support points about tourism and cultural diversity.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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