‘Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers* in most countries’ How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?
The number of
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
in the market has Use synonyms
decrease
throughout the years, Change the verb form
decreased
while
the amount of graduate students rising significantly. Linking Words
This
phenomenon Linking Words
remain
Change the verb form
remains
as
the biggest challenge the graduates have to face nowadays. I concur that there is an issue related to Change preposition
apply
this
phenomenon Linking Words
which
the government should Correct word choice
that
addressed
Change the verb form
address
be addressed
it
for the better future of the citizens.
Nowadays, numerous young Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
exprienced
the trend of massive unemployment. Correct your spelling
experienced
This
may be Linking Words
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
of
the disparities Change preposition
by
of
the number of Change preposition
in
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
with the number of graduates or Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
seeker
. Fix the agreement mistake
seekers
Additionally
, Linking Words
this
phenomenon could Linking Words
be occur
Change the verb form
occur
due to
the increasing Linking Words
and
inflation of Correct word choice
apply
economy
that Correct article usage
the economy
affect
many companies to hire a new employee. Latest studies by BBC elucidate that many Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
people
aged 22 until 35 still Use synonyms
struggeling
to find a Correct your spelling
struggling
job
Use synonyms
although
they already hold an advanced degree.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, not only the small rate of employmentLinking Words
,
young generations Add the word(s)
, but
also
have to deal with Linking Words
the
inflation in the economy. The amount of money to spend Correct article usage
apply
the
necessary expanses in Change preposition
on the
a major cities
has Correct the article-noun agreement
major cities
a major city
rising
over the years. Unfortunately, many young Change the verb form
risen
people
Use synonyms
forced
to leave the city where their studies and back to Add a missing verb
are forced
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
parents
house Change noun form
parents'
parent's
due to
the expensive living Linking Words
cost
in today's world. Not a few countries Fix the agreement mistake
costs
has
already anticipated it by strictly Change the verb form
have
limited
the Wrong verb form
limiting
amount
of international students Change the quantifier
number
to visit
their country to Change the verb form
visiting
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
due to
the lack of Linking Words
Use synonyms
job
market Correct article usage
a job
as well as
the Linking Words
expansive
cost Correct your spelling
expensive
to
Change preposition
of
live
.
Replace the word
life
To conclude
, the problem of Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
for young Use synonyms
people
has been Use synonyms
occur
for the past few years. Change the verb form
occurring
occurred
However
, there are still no effective solutions to Linking Words
solved
Change the form of the verb
solve
Linking Words
this problems
. The government hold an important role Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
to handle
Change preposition
in handling
this
since the future of the generation is in the young Linking Words
people
that still Use synonyms
struggeling
to fulfil their living needs. Correct your spelling
struggling
By opening
numerous employment Change preposition
Opening
opportunities
in Use synonyms
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
Change preposition
of field
field
could Fix the agreement mistake
fields
be effectively solve
Change the verb form
effectively solve
this
problem as a short-term Linking Words
solutions
.Correct the article-noun agreement
solution
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay with clear paragraphing to improve the logical structure and coherence.
task achievement
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structures to boost clarity in your response.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples to strengthen your task achievement.
task achievement
Ensure that you address both parts of the question evenly, focusing on the challenges beyond unemployment.
task achievement
You've made a commendable effort by discussing the issues faced by graduates due to unemployment and economic inflation.
coherence cohesion
You have included a valid conclusion, summarizing the main problem and potential solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.