A person's success nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness, and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the contemporary world, the action of showing off has become prominent in

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society. It is argued that success is judged by

individual's

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an individual's

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social

status

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and materialistic things whilst a handful of people believe kindness, trust and

honor

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honour

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do not matter anymore. I totally disagree with

this

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statement for many reasons and will highlight my opinion in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it is true that the value of a person is identified by his material possessions as people want to visualize everything nowadays. To be more precise, individuals who enjoy luxury and have expensive things have higher

status

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society. It is because of the

status

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symbol they want to maintain in the world among individuals.

For example

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, a family who has

huge

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a huge

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bungalow and expensive cars are well off

according to

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the public.

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, these factors make people believe in flaunting their

status

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in front of others.

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, spending an enormous amount of money on weddings, kitty parties and other events

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also

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is also

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considered to be in a higher-class society.

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due to

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these reasons, success is determined by the social standings and fortunes they have.

On the other hand

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, there is no doubt that moral values play a vital role in human lives.

Firstly

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, it exhibits the character of an individual which is the most important aspect for a human.

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, a person's personality depends on his behaviour, actions, and kindness rather than flaunting expensive things to maintain

status

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For instance

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, in a company, there is an employee who has all kinds of luxury but does not know how to behave with other employees and

lower level

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lower-level

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staff as he

has

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Correct article usage

apply

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lack

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lacks

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values.

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, staying humble, a kind and subtle individual is much better than a disrespectful human being.

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, ancient values should be important to make a perspective for a person in terms of his success and social standings.

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although

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a lavish lifestyle is preferred by everybody nowadays because of the comfort zone it provides, in my opinion, the actual personality and temperament of a human is concluded by his ethics and morality.

harmeetkohli31Sat Dec 14 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all paragraphs smoothly transition into each other, maintaining a clear flow of ideas throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the opinion presented.

task achievement

The author presents a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, enhancing the depth of the discussion.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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