IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transported long distances . Do benefits of this trend outweigh disadvantages

#trade #increases #goods #basis #country #distances #trend
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In the era of globalization and advanced technology,many commodities are allowed to
transport
Wrong verb form
be transported
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other
Change preposition
to other
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 countries,Many countries can get a lot of goods that they can not produce.I think that the benefits of
this
 trend outweigh the drawbacks. The major advantage of
this
 development is that customers across the world can take advantage of higher-quality products at fairly competitive prices.
This
 is
due to
 the
possiblity
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of creating a fair playing field in terms of dynamic markets and relevant legislation,allowing for the wider availability of various brands and items for the general public.
On the other hand
,delivering critical materials and components across national boundaries is likely to mitigate the risk of resource scarcity in the local market.To be specific,if
acoutry’s
Correct your spelling
a country’s
 raw materials for some essential commodities are in limited supply,transporting goods from another country could be an ideal solution to the local shortage,
thus
 minimizing the
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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 effects on the residents.
While others
Correct word choice
Others
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 may oppose
such
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
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,claiming that long-distance transport is a major contributor to environmental disruption.
This
 is true to some extent as delivering goods by plane is fuel-consuming and would lead to greenhouse gas emissions.
However
 a source of global emissions.
Furthermore
,given the current research in the field of alternative energy,it should not be
diffcult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to convert greenhouse gases like
carbone
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carbon
 dioxide into renewable fuels in the
furture
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future
,which could
also
 provide human beings with a possible mechanism to store energy. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,I am optimistic about
this
 trend and firmly believe that delivering daily necessities to other countries provides mankind with significant merits as long as the whole society is mindful of
them
Correct your spelling
the
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,potential
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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 associated with long-distance transportation and takes effective
measure
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measures
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 to minimize them
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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your position. Although you state that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, giving a brief insight into why this is important could help in setting a more grounded tone for your essay.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant, they can be more detailed. Providing specific examples to illustrate your points would make your essay stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to maintain clarity in your ideas. Some sentences appear a bit complex, which can obscure their meaning slightly. Simplification or restructuring could help.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This can improve the overall coherence and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument well.
coherence cohesion
You presented a logical structure in your essay by discussing both the benefits and the potential drawbacks of global trade, and concluded by reinforcing your thoughts.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing both sides of the issue, showing a balanced approach.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global trade
  • economic growth
  • specialization
  • efficient resource use
  • variety of products
  • consumers
  • accessibility
  • standard of living
  • economies of scale
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental damage
  • importation
  • quality standards
  • local industries
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