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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the data about different types of families living in
poverty
Use synonyms
 in Australia in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are six
six
Remove the redundancy
apply
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classifications, including single aged person,
aged
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an aged
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couple
Use synonyms
,
singe
Correct your spelling
single
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 without
children
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,
couple
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 without
children
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, sole parent and
couple
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 with
children
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. Categorically,
poverty
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 rates are higher for single persons compared to households with
husband
Correct article usage
a husband
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 or wife. In terms of
Correct article usage
the totally
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totally
Change the adverb
total
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 situation of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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Australia
Change preposition
of Australia
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, there were 11% of households in
poverty
Use synonyms
 in 1999, with the accurate figure
was
Replace the word
being
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 1837000. Those consisting of single aged
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
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 figured at 6%(54000), which was
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
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 low
poverty
Use synonyms
 rate
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sole
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 and single without
children
Use synonyms
 were the most prone to be poor, at 21%(232000) and 19%(359000) separately. For families with partners,
Use synonyms
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
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 with
children
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 were the most common in
poverty
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, at 12%(933000),
while
Linking Words
 still approximately half of the highest.
Couple
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 with
children
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’s figure was lower, at 7%(211000). The proportion of aged
Use synonyms
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
 was the lowest in families with partners but
also
Linking Words
 entire households, at only 4%(48000)

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words poverty, couple, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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