IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The maps show changes that took place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25 year period from 1980 to 2005.

The maps show changes that took place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25 year period from 1980 to 2005.
#maps #show #changes #place #youngsville #zealand #year #period
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pictures provide changes that have occurred in Youngsville in New Zealand over a
twenty-five year
Add a hyphen
twenty-five-year
show examples
 period between 1980 and 2005.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, we can see that in 1980
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 was
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
greener thanks to a lot of trees,
also
Linking Words
 there were a lot of ordinary apartment buildings.
However
Linking Words
, 25 years later the city became
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more modern, with a large number of attractions, factories and places where people can do activities. On the sought side of the river, in the
central
Replace the word
centre
show examples
 of the city, trees were cut down and replaced by the new industrial enterprises and a huge warehouse.
In addition
Linking Words
, previous buildings were demolished,
for
Correct word choice
and for
show examples
 their places
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skyscrapers were erected. Looking at the north, almost all the trees along
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
 were removed by a new park.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
full
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
 residential area was made way for a stadium and parking zone for the cars. Just to the northeast of the river, by 2010,
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
 road was developed after buildings were knocked down.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: