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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph and table below show the percentage of graduates that got full-time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia, and the average salary of both these types of graduates, from 2004 to 2012.

The line graph and table below show the percentage of graduates that got full-time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia, and the average salary of both these types of graduates, from 2004 to 2012.
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This
Linking Words
 provided line graph depicts the proportion of
math
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graduates
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 who got full-time jobs compared to other
graduates
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, and the table presents the average earnings
between
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among
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 these
graduates
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.
This
Linking Words
 survey was conducted at a specific university in Australia with data from 2004 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
math
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graduates
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 remained
slighlty
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slightly
 stable and
also
Linking Words
 they
earn
Wrong verb form
earned
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highest
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the highest
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 salary in 2012 rather than other
graduates
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. Regarding the graph picture, in 2004, the number of
math
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graduates
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 who got full-time jobs stood at 80%, which was 20% higher than other majors.
However
Linking Words
, in 2006, as
other
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the other
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graduates
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 percentage surpassed
at
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apply
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85%,
math
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 former students increased insignificantly
at
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to
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 77%. Interestingly,
although
Linking Words
 they had a similar rate in 2008, other
graduates
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experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 a descending trend and
math
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graduates
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 continued to
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuate
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 slightly, with the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 rate of 76% and 60%, respectively. As for the table about salary, both former college students have a similar trend in the two first years. After that, in 2008,
math
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graduates
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 suddenly rose higher than
other
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others
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, reaching 50,000 in 2008
while
Linking Words
 other
graduates
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 recorded 5,000 lower. When
math
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graduates
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 can
earned
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earn
show examples
 51,000 in 2010, other
graduates
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 can
obtained
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obtain
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 it in 2012.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 68%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words math, graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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